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– from Fiqh us-Sunnah

As-Siyam generally means “to abstain from something.” For example, a verse in the Quran says: “I have vowed to the Merciful to abstain – that is, from speaking.” What is meant here is abstaining from the food, drink, and sexual intercourse from dawn until sunset with the explicit intention of doing so (for the sake of Allah).

The Virtues of Fasting:
Abu Hurairah reported the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, saying: “Allah said: ‘Every action of the son of Adam is for him except fasting, for this is solely for Me, I give the reward for it.’ The fast is a shield. If one is fasting, he should not use foul language, raise his voice, or behave foolishly. If someone reviles him or fights with him he should say, ‘I am fasting.’ twice. By the One in whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, the [bad] breath of the one who is fasting is better in the sight of Allah on the Day of Resurrection than the smell of musk. The one who is fasting is happy at two times: when he breaks his fast he is happy with it, and when he meets his Lord he will be happy that he has fasted.” This is related by Ahmad, Muslim, and an-Nasa’i. A similar version was recorded by al-Bukhari and Abu Dawud, but with the following addition: “He leaves his food, drink, and desires for My sake. His fasting is for Me… I will give the reward for it, and for every good deed, he will receive ten similar to it.”

Abdullah ibn ‘Amr reported that the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said: “The fast and the Quran are two intercessors for the servant of Allah on the Day of Resurrection. The fast will say: ‘O Lord, I prevented him from his food and desires during the days. Let me intercede for him.’ The Quran will say: ‘I prevented him from sleeping at night. Let me intercede for him.’ And their intercession will be accepted.” Ahmad related this hadith with a sahih (meaning “authentic” or “sound”) chain.

Abu Umamah reported: “I came to the Messenger of Allah and said: ‘Order me to do a deed that will allow me to enter Paradise.’ He said: ‘Stick to fasting, as there is no equivalent to it.’ Then I came to him again and he said: ‘Stick to fasting.’” This hadith is related by Ahmad, an-Nasa’i, and al-Hakim who classified it as sahih.

Abu Sa’id al-Khudri reported that the Messenger of Allah said: “No servant fasts on a day in the path of Allah except that Allah removes the hellfire seventy years further away from his face.” This is related by “the group”. except for Abu Dawud.

Sahl ibn Sa’d reported that the Prophet said: “There is a gate to Paradise that is called ar-Rayyan. On the Day of Resurrection it will say: ‘Where are those who fasted?’ When the last [one] has passed through the gate, it will be locked.” This is related by al-Bukhari and Muslim.

Types of Fasting:
There are two types of fasting: obligatory and voluntary. Obligatory can be further subdivided into the fast of Ramadan, the fast of expiation and the fast of fulfilling a vow.

The Fast of Ramadan
(2:183-185) O you who have believed, decreed upon you is fasting as it was decreed upon those before you that you may self-restraint. [Fasting for] a prescribed number of days. … The month of Ramadan [is that] in which was revealed the Qur’an, a guidance for the people and clear proofs of guidance and criterion. So whoever sights [the new moon of] the month, let him fast it; and whoever is ill or on a journey – then an equal number of other days. Allah intends for you ease and does not intend for you hardship and [wants] for you to complete the period and to glorify Allah for that [to] which He has guided you; and perhaps you will be grateful.

From the sunnah we have the following statements of the Prophet: “Islam is built upon five pillars: testifying that there is no God except Allah and that Muhammad is His Messenger, the establishment of the prayer, the giving of zakah, the fast of Ramadan and the pilgrimage to Maakah.” Talhah ibn ‘Ubaidullah reported that a man came to the Prophet and said: “O Messenger of Allah, tell me what Allah requires of me as regards fasting.” He answered, “The month of Ramadan.” The man asked: “Is there any other [fast]?” The Prophet answered: “No, unless you do so voluntarily.”

The Virtues of Ramadan and the Deeds Done during it
Abu Hurairah reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said: “The blessed month has come to you. Allah has made fasting during it obligatory upon you. During it, the gates to Paradise are opened and the gates to hellfire are locked, and the devils are chained. There is a night [during this month] which is better than a thousand months. Whoever is deprived of its good is really deprived [of something great].” This is related by Ahmad and an-Nasa’i.

Muslim relates that Abu Hurairah reported the Prophet saying: “The time between the five prayers, two consecutive Friday prayers, and two consecutive Ramadans are expiation for all that has happened during that period, provided that one has avoided the grave sins.”

Abu Sa’id al-Khudri reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said: “Whoever fasts the month of Ramadan, obeying all of its limitations and guarding himself against what is forbidden, has in fact atoned for any sins he committed before it.” Ahmad related this hadith with a good chain.

The Consequence of breaking the fast of Ramadan
Abu Hurairah reported that the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said: “Whoever breaks his fast during Ramadan without having one of the excuses that Allah would excuse him for, then even a perpetual fast, if he were to fast it, would not make up for that day.” This is related by Abu Dawud, Ibn Majah, and at-Tirmidhi.

The Arrival of Ramadan
This event is confirmed by sighting the new moon, even if it is seen by just only one person, or by the passage of thirty days in the immediately preceding month of Sha’ban.

Abu Hurairah reported that the Prophet instructed: “Fast after you have seen it [the new crescent] and end the fast when you see it. If it is hidden from you, then wait until the thirty days of Sha’ban have passed.” This is related by al-Bukhari and Muslim.

The Essential Elements of the Fast
The fast has two essential elements (literally, “pillars”) that must be fulfilled for it to be valid and acceptable. They are:

(1) Abstaining from those acts that break the fast:
(2:187) It has been made permissible for you the night preceding fasting to go to your wives [for sexual relations]. They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them. Allah knows that you used to deceive yourselves, so He accepted your repentance and forgave you. So now, have relations with them and seek that which Allah has decreed for you. And eat and drink until the white thread of dawn becomes distinct to you from the black thread [of night]. Then complete the fast until the sunset. And do not approach them as long as you are staying for worship in the mosques [I’htikaf]. These are the limits [set by] Allah, so do not approach them. Thus does Allah make clear His ordinances to the people that they may guard themselves against evil.

This is also based on the following hadith: “When the verse ‘Eat and drink until the white thread becomes distinct to you…’ was revealed, I took a black thread and a white thread and placed them underneath my pillow. During the night I looked at them to see if I could distinguish between them. In the morning, I went to the Messenger of Allah and mentioned that to him and he said: ‘It is the black of the night and the white of the day.’”

It is also the time that Fajr starts.

(2) The Intention
Allah instructs in the Quran: “And they are ordained nothing else than to serve Allah, keeping religion pure for Him.” The Prophet, peace be upon him, said: “Actions are judged according to the intention behind them, and for everyone is what he intended.”

The intention must be made before Fajr and during every night of Ramadan. The intention is valid during any part of the night. It need not be spoken, as it is in reality an act of the heart which does not involve the tongue. It will be fulfilled by one’s intention to fast out of obedience to Allah and for seeking His pleasure.

Who must Fast
Every sane, adult, healthy male Muslim who is not traveling at that time. As for a woman, she must not be menstruating or having post-childbirth bleeding. People who are insane, minors, and those who are traveling, menstruating, or going through post-childbirth bleeding, the elderly, breast-feeding or pregnant women do not need to observe the fast.

(2:183)…So whoever among you are ill or on a journey [during them] – then an equal number of days [are to be made up]. And upon those who are able [to fast, but with hardship] – a ransom [as substitute] of feeding a poor person [each day]. And whoever volunteers excess – it is better for him. But to fast is best for you, if you only knew…

Making up the Missed Days of Ramadan
Any days except few exceptions, after Ramadan and before the next Ramadan, can fast. Women who missed the fasting in Ramadan due to menstruation and childbirth, do not need to make up the missed prayers, only need to make up the missed fast.

The Forbidden Days to Fast
(1) The days of Eid.
(2) The days of Tashreeq (that is the three days following the Eid al-Adha)
(3) It is prohibited to single out Friday as a day of fasting. If one also fasts Thursday or Saturday, then it’s permissible to fast on Friday.
(4) It is forbidden to fast on the “day of doubt”. Abu Hurairah reported that the Messenger of Allah said: “Do not precede Ramadan by fasting the day or two before it unless it is a day on which the person usually fasts.”
(5) It is forbidden to fast every day of the year.
(6) It is prohibited to fast consecutive days without eating at all [al-wisal].

The Manners of Fasting
(1) Eating a pre-dawn meal. Al-Miqdam ibn Madyakrib reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said: “You should eat this pre-dawn meal for it is a blessed nourishment.” This is related by an-Nasa’i with a good chain.
(2) Hastening in breaking the fast. Sahl ibn Sa’d reported that the Prophet said: “People will always be with the good as long as they hasten in breaking the fast.” This is related by al-Bukhari and Muslim. Anas reported: “The Messenger of Allah would break his fast with ripe dates before he would pray. If those were not available, he would eat dried dates. If those were not available, he would drink some water.” This hadith is related by Abu Dawud.
(3) Supplications while breaking the fast and while fasting.
(4) Refraining from performing any actions that do not befit the fasting. Fasting is a type of worship that draws one closer to Allah. Allah has prescribed it to purify the soul and to train it in good deeds. The fasting person must be on guard against any act that may cause him to lose the benefits of his fast. Thus, his fast will increase his God-consciousness. Fasting is not just refraining from eating and drinking, but it is also refraining from everything else that Allah has forbidden. Abu Hurairah reported that the Prophet said: “Allah does not need the fast of one who does not abandon false speech or acting according to his false speech.” This is related by the group, except for Muslim.
(5) Using the tooth stick [brush]. It is preferred for the fasting person to use a tooth stick or a brush for teeth.
(6) Being generous and studying the Quran.
(7) Striving to perform as many acts of worship as possible during the last ten days of Ramadan.

بِسْمِ اللَّـهِ الرَّحْمَـٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ

Al-Qadr (القدر) is the belief that Allah has decided everything that will happen in the world and in people’s lives, which is also called Predestination. (87:2-3) “Allah created and proportioned and who destined and [then] guided.”

Life is like an online game. The game developers have designed the ground, no matter whatever direction you choose, you will meet with different fate. The whole game depends how well you play because you have the ultimate control in the game. 

It’s like our life. Allah has finished designing this game and whatever good or bad, it’s already there. Then Allah gave us free mind to decide our move, no matter what our move is, we will meet our fate that we choose. 

(39:62-63) “Allah is the Creator of all things, and He is, over all things, Disposer of affairs. To Him belong the keys of the heavens and the earth. And they who disbelieve in the verses of Allah – it is those who are the losers.”

Life is a series of decision-making. Allah created good and bad, including everything we need in this world. It’s up to us to decide how we play this game. Allah gave us this game menu – Quran to read and to follow. It’s true, many people seem very successful in this game without reading the menu. However, we see only what our eyes see, we measure success only from people’s appearances, wealth, education, authority and so on.  However, we do not really know what all these people are and will be going through.

(4:78) Wherever you may be, death will overtake you, even if you should be within towers of lofty construction. But if good comes to them, they say, “This is from Allah “; and if evil befalls them, they say, “This is from you.” Say, “All [things] are from Allah.” So what is [the matter] with those people that they can hardly understand any statement?What comes to you of good is from Allah, but what comes to you of evil is from yourself.

(42:30-31) And whatever strikes you of disaster – it is for what your hands have earned; but He pardons much. And you will not cause failure [to Allah] upon the earth. And you have not besides Allah any protector or helper.

Allah said the ultimate winner will be really known after the world ends (which means all the players will be ended at the same time).  Many people started the game earlier and left earlier. Since many of the people simply do not really believe they will have a final bonus there to wait for them, so people simply fail to realize. (23:62) And We charge no soul except [with that within] its capacity, and with Us is a record which speaks with truth; and they will not be wronged.

Of course, Allah said (44:38-39) “And We did not create the heavens and earth and that between them in play. We did not create them except in truth, but most of them do not know.”

This is just a simple analogy for us to realize the predestination. Allah has created everything in pairs, including good and bad. It’s up to us to decide how you want to meet your fate. This life ends, and will be final until Day of Judgment. We cannot restart like the video game. So, stop, think, vision what kind of life you want, and always remember to set one of the ultimate goals is to Jannah, then plan and EXECUTE, at last but not least, Dua to Allah for guidance, knowledge and wisdom. You will steer through whatever barrier in front of you, Insha-Allah. 

May Allah guide us always to His Right Path that pleases Him the most. Ameen

Hadith Al-Bukhari, Volume 4, Book 60, Hadith 17, no. 3342

Narrated Anas (ra): Abu Dhar (ra) used to say that Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “While I was at Makkah, the roof of my house was opened and Jibril descended, opened my chest, and washed it with Zamzam water. Then he brought a golden tray full of wisdom and faith, and having poured its contents into my chest, he closed it. Then he took my hand and ascended with me to the heaven. When Jibril reached the nearest heaven, he said to the gatekeeper of the heaven, ‘Open (the gate).’ The gatekeeper asked, ‘who is it?’ Jibril answered, ‘Jibril’. He asked, ‘Is there anyone with you?’ Jibril replied, ‘Muhammad (ﷺ) is with me.’ He asked, ‘Has he been called?’, Jibril said, ‘Yes’. So, the gate was opened and we went over the nearest heaven, and there we saw a man sitting with Aswida (a large number of people) of his right and Aswida on his left. When he looked towards his right, he laughed and when he looked towards his left he wept. He said (to me), ‘Welcome, O pious Prophet and pious son’. I said, ‘Who is this man O Jibril?’ Jibril replied, ‘He is Adam, and the people on his right and left are the souls of his offspring. Those on the right are the people of Paradise, and those on the left are the people of the (Hell) Fire. So, when he looks to the right, he laughs, and when he looks to the left he weeps.’ Then Jibril ascended with me till he reached the second heaven and said to the gatekeeper, ‘Open (the gate).’ The gatekeeper said to him the same as the gatekeeper of the first heaven has said, and he opened the gate.” Anas added: Abu Dhar mentioned that Prophet (ﷺ) met Idris, Musa (Moses), ‘Isa (Jesus) and Ibrahim (Abraham) over the heavens, but he did not specify their places (i.e., on which heavens each of them was), but he mentioned that he (the Prophet (ﷺ)) had met Adam on the nearest heaven, and Ibrahim on the sixth. Anas said, “When Jibril and the Prophet (ﷺ) passed by Idris, the latter said, ‘Welcome, O pious Prophet and pious brother!’ the Prophet (ﷺ) asked, ‘Who is he?’ Jibril said, ‘He is Idris.’ ” The Prophet (ﷺ) added, “Then I passed by Musa who said, ‘Welcome, O pious Prophet and pious brother!’ I said, ‘Who is he?’ Jibril said, ‘He is Musa.’ Then I passed by ‘Isa who said, ‘Welcome, O pious Prophet and pious brother!’ I said, ‘Who is he?’ He replied, ‘He is ‘Isa.’ Then I passed by the Prophet (ﷺ) Ibrahim who said, ‘Welcome, O pious Prophet and pious son!’ I said, ‘Who is he?’ Jibril replied, ‘He is Ibrahim’.” Narrated Ibn ‘Abbas and Abu Haiyya Al-Ansari: The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Then Jibril ascended with me to a place where I heard the creaking of pens.” Ibn Hazm and Anas bin Malik state the Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Allah enjoined fifty Salat (prayers) on me. When I returned with this order of Allah, I passed by Musa who asked me, ‘What has Allah enjoined on your followers?’ I replied, ‘He has enjoined fifty Salat (prayers) on them.’ On the Musa said to me, ‘Go back to your Lord (and appeal for reduction), for your followers will not be able to bear it.’ So, I returned to my Lord and asked for some reduction, and He reduced it to half. When I passed by Musa again and informed him about it, he once more said to me, ‘Go back to your Lord, for your followers will not be able to bear it.’ So, I returned to my Lord similarly as before, and half of it was reduced. I again passed by Musa and he said to me, ‘Go back to your Lord, for your followers will not be able to bear it.’ I again returned to my Lord and He said, ‘These are five (Salat-prayers) and they are all (equal to) fifty (in reward), for My Word does not change.’ I returned to Musa, he again told me to return to my Lord (for further reduction) but I said to him ‘I feel shy of asking my Lord now.’ Then Jibril took me till we reached Sidrat-ul-Muntaha (i.e., lote tree of utmost boundary) which was shrouded in colors indescribable. Then I was admitted into Paradise where I found small tents (made) of pearls and its earth was musk (a kind of perfume).”

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Ar-Raheeq Al-Makhtum (the Sealed Nectar)
Biography of the Noble Prophet, P.179-180

The Imams of Hadith narrate a number of details about this event, the following of which is a summary:
Ibn Al-Qaiyim said: “Allah’s Messenger[pbuh] was carried physically – according to the correct view – from the Sacred Mosque in Makkah to Bait Al-Maqdis in Jerusalem, riding on Al-Buraq in the company of Gabriel.  There he alighted, tied the horse to a ring in the gate of the Mosque and led the Prophets in prayer.  Then during that night he ascended from Bait Al-Maqdis to the lowest heaven.  Gabriel sought permission to enter.  It was opened and he saw Adam [pbuh], the forefather of mankind.  The Prophet [pbuh] greeted him and Adam [pbuh] welcomed him, returned his greeting, and expressed his faith in Muhammad’s Prophethood.  He saw the souls of martyrs on his right and those of the wretched on his left.

Gabriel then ascended with the Prophet [pbuh] to the second heaven, sought entry and there he saw and greeted John, son of Zacharia (Yahya bin Zakariya [pbuh]) and Jesus [pbuh], son of Mary.  They returned his greeting, welcomed him and expressed their faith in his Prophet.

Then they reached the third heaven where they saw Joseph (Yusuf [pbuh]) and greet him.  The latter welcomed the Prophet [pbuh] returned his greeting, expressed faith in his Prophethood.
The Prophet [pbuh], in the company of Gabriel, then reached the fourth heaven where he met the Propeht Idris [pbuh] and greeted him.  Idris [pbuh] returned the greeting and expressed faith in his Prophethood.  Then he was carried to the fifth heaven where he met the Prophet Aaron (Harun [pbuh]) and greeted him.  The latter returned the greeting and expressed faith in his Prophethood.  In the sixth heaven he met Moses (Musa [pbuh]) and greeted him.  The latter returned the greeting and expressed faith in his Prophethood.  Muhammad [pbuh] on leaving, saw that Moses [pbuh] began to weep.  He asked about the reason.  Moses [pbuh] answered that he was weeping because he witnessed a man sent after him as a Messenger (Muhammad [pbuh]) who was able to lead more of his people to Paradise than he himself did.  Then Prophet Muhammad [pbuh] reached the seventh heaven and met Abraham (Ibrahim [pbuh]) and greeted him.  The latter returned the salutation and expressed faith in his Prophethood.  Then he was carried to Sidratul-Muntaha (the remotest lote tree) and was shown Al-Bait Al-Ma’mur [(the much frequented house) encompassed daily by seventy thousand angels, so that the angels who once encompassed it would not have their turn again till the Resurrection].

He was then presented before Allah. He was brought near such that he was at the distance of two bow’s length or less. Allah revealed to His servant as He willed, ordaining fifty daily prayers for him.  On his return, he spoke to Moses [pbuh], informing him that his followers had been enjoined to pray fifty times a day.  Moses [pbuh] addressing the Prophet [pbuh] said: “Your followers cannot perform so many prayers.  Go back to your Lord and ask for a decrease in number.”  The Prophet [pbuh] turned to Gabriel, he nodded, “Yes, if you desire,” and ascended with him till Allah the Almight, Glorious is He, reduced the prayers by then.  He then descended and reported that to Moses [pbuh], who again urged him to request a further reduction.  Muhammad [pbuh] once more begged his Lord to reduce the number still further.  He went again and again at the suggestion of Moses [pbuh] for reduction in the number of prayers till these were reduced to only five.  Moses [pbuh] again asked him to implore for more reduction, but he said: “I fell ashamed now of repeatedly asking my Lord for reduction.  I accept and resign to His Will.”  When Muhammad [pbuh] went farther, a Caller was heard saying: “I have imposed My Ordinance and lightened the burden of My servants.”

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Revelation
The Story of Muhammad, Peace and blessings be upon him
by Meraj Mohiuddin, P.163-164

Abu Talib’s wife, Fatimah bint Asad, had entered Islam sometime before or after the death of her husband.  Her daughter Umm Hani remained close to the Prophet and, in the year after Abu Talib’s death, invites him over to lead the evening prayer in her house.  The Prophet (pbuh) accepts his cousin’s invitation and, after the prayer, rests at her house.

Like his grandfather ‘Abd al-Mutallib, the Prophet (pbuh) used to enjoy spending nights in the Hijr, near the tomb of Hagar and Ishmael.  After a short nap at Umm Hani’s house, he steps out to visit the Ka’bah and falls asleep in the Hijr. In the midst of his sleep, he is greeted by Gabriel who leads him to a mounted winged beast named Buraq.  Then, as described in Surah Al-Isra, he is carried to Jerusalem (about 760 miles away), where he encounters several biblical prophets and leads them in prayer (the Isra’).

After the congregational prayer, the Prophet ascends through the seven heavens.  At each level he encountered different Prophets, who collectively endorse his prophethood.  Surah An-Najm captures the transcendent moment when, after passing the seventh heaven, the Prophet finally meets his Creator:(The Star, 53:16-18) When there covered the Lote Tree that which covered [it]. The sight [of the Prophet] did not swerve, nor did it transgress [its limit]. He certainly saw of the greatest signs of his Lord.

At the height of the Me’raj (ascension), the Prophet was commanded to instruct his followers to perform 50 prayers daily.  He also received revelation that contained the creed of his faith:
(The Cow 2:285) The Messenger believes in what his Lord revealed, so do the faithful. Each of them believes in Allah and His angels, His books and His messengers. [The believers say], “We don’t consider one of His messengers as being better than another.” [They pray], “We hear and we obey. [We seek] Your forgiveness, our Lord, for we [know that our] final destination is back with You.”
As the Prophet (pbuh) descended through the heavens, he was approached by Moses who persuaded him to return to God and asked Him to make worship easier for his community by decreasing the number of obligatory daily prayers.  When the Prophet (pbuh) returned a second time, Moses reiterated his recommendation.  They repeat this time until the number of daily prayers was reduced to five.  Even then Moses encouraged him to seek a further reduction, but the Prophet (pbuh) responded: “I feel ashamed now of repeatedly asking my Lord for reduction.  I accept and resign to His Will.”

** From the commentary: “There is a difference of opinion on what year the Night Journey took place.  Some scholars believe it happened much earlier in Mecca, while others suggest that it must have happened after the Year of Sadness because of the general consensus that Khadijah died before the five daily prayers were established.””Although there is some difference of opinion, the Isra’ and Me’raj most likely occurred shortly after the Prophet’s return from Ta’if.  While the miraculous experience was a turning point in the Prophet’s 23-year career, it also tested the conviction of his Companions.”

P.166
The response to the night journey
The next morning, the Prophet described his miraculous journey to Umm Hani.  Against her counsel, he insisted on sharing his experience with the Quraysh. As Umm Hani predicted, the Prophet’s enemies are thrilled to hear what sounds like a ludicrous story, which his companions faced an unexpected trial of faith. 

(The Night Journey 17:60) We [only use such symbols] to instill fear in them [so that they’ll perhaps be inclined to listen], but it only adds to their immense suppression [of faith].

Those who are nearby ask Abu Bakr, who hadn’t yet heard about what had happened, to confirm the Prophet’s incredible story. But for Abu Bakr, the news was hardly believed. “If so he saith, then it is true.” he calmly responded. “And where is the wonder of it? He telleth me that tidings come to him from Heaven to earth in one hour of the day or night, and I know him to be speaking the truth.  And that is beyond what ye cavil at.”

Since the first revelation, Abu Bakr never wavers from his conviction in God and his commitment to the Prophet (pbuh).  Shortly after hearing Abu Bakr’s response to the Isra’ account, the Prophet (pbuh) honoured him the title as-Siddiq (the great witness of truth).

While the Night Journey is a unique moment in the Prophet’s life, Surah Al An’am explains that it is not unlike the experiences of Muhammad’s great forefather.

(Al-An’am 6:75) That’s the result [of Our demonstration] to Abraham, when We showed him that We have all dominion over the heavens and the earth, and thus he was convinced [that the idols were false].

“Talaq! Talaq! Talaq!” Is that really easy to divorce a wife just pronounce this words three times with immediate effect? According to Sura At-Talaq 65:1-7 has clearly mentioned that if a man declare Talaq, he has to wait for three months, so-called “waiting time” to ensure the woman is not pregnant for his baby. He cannot kick her out of the home or lock the home to refuse her back except she’s committing a clear immorality. He has to maintain her as usual at home. However, if any sexual intercourse happens during this waiting time, the marriage will be reinstated automatically.

During this waiting time, it is suggested trying to retain the wife; otherwise separate with her according to acceptable terms with two just men to witness and establish the testimony.

If the wife is found pregnant during this waiting time, the man has to keep her at home until the baby is born. The man has to responsible for all the expenses during the waiting time no matter she’s pregnant or not. Also compensate the woman if she feeds the baby. But if you cannot bear with each other then let another woman suckle the baby for you.

Below is the surah quoted for your reference. It’s so clear that Taqwa (awareness of Allah) is so important during this divorce process. Allah has given clear instructions and women’s rights during this process in the Quran. If anyone simply declare talaq three times at a time and refuse to take the woman back or push her out of the home, he is clearly not following Islam.

At-Talaq (Divorce)
Translation the Clear Quran
(65:1) O Prophet! [Instruct the believers:] When you [intend to] divorce women, then divorce them with concern for their waiting period, and count it accurately. And fear God, your Lord.  Do not force them out of their homes, nor should they leave – unless they commit a blatant misconduct.  These are the limits set by God.  And whoever transgresses God’s limits has truly wronged his own soul.  You never know, perhaps God will bring about a change [of heart] later.
(65:2) Then when they have [almost] reached the end of their waiting period, either retain them honourably or separate from them honourably.  And call two of your reliable men to witness [either way] – and [let the witnesses] bear true testimony for [the sake of] God. This is enjoined on whoever has faith in God and the Last Day.  And whoever is mindful of God, He will make a way out for them, 
(65:3) and provide for them from sources they could never imagine.  And whoever puts their trust in God, then He [alone] is sufficient for them. Certainly God achieves His Will.  God has already set a destiny for everything.
(65:4) As for your women past the age of menstruation, in case you do not know, their waiting period is three months, and those who have not menstruated as well.  As for those who are pregnant, their waiting period ends with delivery.  And whoever is mindful of God, He will make their matters easy for them.
(65:5) This is the commandment of God, which He has revealed to you.  And whoever is mindful of God, He will absolve them of their sins and reward them immensely.
(65:6) Let them live where you live [during their waiting period], according to your means.  And do not harass them to make their stay unbearable.  If they are pregnant, then maintain them until they deliver.  And if they nurse your child, compensate them, and consult together courteously.  But if you fail to reach an agreement, then another woman will nurse [the child] for the father.
(65:7) Let the man of wealth provide according to his means.  As for the one with limited resources, let him provide according to whatever God has given him.  God does not require of any soul beyond what He has given it.  After hardship, God will bring about ease.

By Megan Wyatt

‘I’ve cried in a lot of places during the “holiday season.” As a convert who left behind many traditions that come with the holiday season, I was left with longing and, sometimes, loneliness. I wrote an ebook, shared below, to help others in the same boat. One year I remember hearing a Christmas song playing while eating lunch out with my husband and kids, and just like that, the nostalgia hit me and I just welled up with tears. It’s been over 20 years since I became Muslim and it’s taken about that long to finally not feel sad.

My life is rich, alhamdulilah, as is my family life and our own traditions and so I am happy and content. But the feeling is still there sometimes. It’s a sign of beautiful memories with my family growing up. It’s part of the test that a convert goes through. We don’t need pity or to pity ourselves. We’ve chosen the greatest gift there is in the world: the know our Creator as He truly is. But compassion goes a long way. Suggestions to ease this time of year for converts you might know:

1) Drop a text or a phone call to anyone you know who is a convert. Let them know you recognize this time of year is difficult for many converts and ask how they are doing. Maybe invite them out for some of those seasonal flavors of coffee, cocoa, and desserts!

2) If you are married to a convert don’t shame them for their feelings. Don’t talk about how all those traditions are rooted in haram ideaas, pagan history, etc etc etc. They know. They get it. They chose Islam, remember? Instead, offer a hug, maybe take a drive just to look at lights together, and listen. Just listen. Part of grief is just feeling and processing. Be gentle.

3) Consider hosting gatherings in your home somewhere between 12/24-12/27 to give converts something positive to look forward to. Make it a potluck or just make all your friends cook and say “converts come free handed!” Trust me, the gestures will be really meaningful for them.

4) Remind converts of all the positive ways they can and should stay connected to their families during this time. Many teachers encourage people to still attend holiday dinners and lunches in order to maintain familial ties. Educate yourself on this subject with teachers who are in touch with the converts in their community. (Do not copy/paste fatwas from people who live in muslim lands who have no idea how to support converts!)

5) Download the ebook or share this post with others: http://marketives.com/client/holidayseason/download-page/e-book/WhenHolidayNostalgiaCreatesSaddness.pdf

From Maryam Amir Facebook 

Marriage is not a cure for your addiction. Or your depression. Or your trauma. Or or or… a person you marry is not a tool to fix your problems. And by fixating on marriage as a balm for your gaping wounds, you can painfully wrong another.

Folks must work on self-development without waiting for marriage to miraculously fill their gaping wounds. Go to therapy, get your health together, enroll in a rehab program now.

On a spiritual level, if you aren’t waking up for fajr now but gush about how you can’t wait for Mr or Mrs Perfect Muslim to gently sprinkle water on your face for qiyam… keep a cup of water next to you in bed so that you can drench yourself and WAKE UP. How can you rely for the appearance of a person who doesn’t yet exist in your life in this role to take responsibility for your worship? YOU wake you up! YOU be the worshipper you wish you could be!

Marriage can be a great tool of self-improvement and can help us change for the best, with God’s will. A blissful marriage is a great blessing from God and the creation and care of a family is a great act of worship. The right spouse can truly *help* (not be the end all) you find a sense of wholeness and healing and comprehensive support and sometimes a sense of loving even your greatest insecurities. 
But you cannot expect that to *come* from someone else. That isn’t your spouse’s responsibility. You can’t want to get married so someone else heals you. God is the only One Who deserves that level of trust.

Work on your relationship with Him, work on your own mental, physical, spiritual, psychological nurturing and become the type of person you want to marry. And be the type of person someone else would thank God for marrying.

Al-Baqara
(2:1) Alif, Lam, Meem.
(2:2) This is the Book about which there is no doubt, a guidance for those conscious of Allah –
(2:3) Who believe in the unseen, establish prayer, and spend out of what We have provided for them,
(2:4) And who believe in what has been revealed to you, and what was revealed before you, and of the Hereafter they are certain [in faith].
(2:5) Those are upon [right] guidance from their Lord, and it is those who are the successful.

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Alay Imran
(3:2) Allah – there is no deity except Him, the Ever-Living, the Sustainer of existence.
(3:3) He has sent down upon you the Book in truth, confirming what was before it. And He revealed the Torah and the Gospel.
(3:4) Before as a guidance for mankind and also revealed this Al-Furqan [criterion for judgment between right and wrong]. Surely those who reject Allah’s revelations will be sternly punished; Allah is Mighty, capable of retribution.

(3:7) It is He who has sent down to you the Book; in it are verses [that are] precise – they are the foundation of the Book – and others unspecific. As for those in whose hearts is deviation [from truth], they will follow that of it which is unspecific, seeking discord and seeking an interpretation [suitable to them]. And no one knows its [true] interpretation except Allah. But those firm in knowledge say, “We believe in it. All [of it] is from our Lord.” And no one will be reminded except those of understanding.

(3:138) This [the Quran] is a clear declaration to mankind, a guidance and an admonition to those who fear Allah!

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An-Nisa
(4:82) Then do they not reflect upon the Qur’an? If it had been from [any] other than Allah, they would have found within it much contradiction.

(4:105) Indeed, We have revealed to you, the Book in truth so you may judge between the people by that which Allah has shown you. So be not an advocate for those who betray trust.
(4:106) And seek forgiveness of Allah. Indeed, Allah is ever Forgiving and Merciful.

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Al-A’raf
(7:2) [This is] a Book revealed to you – so let there not be in your breast distress therefrom – that you may warn thereby and as a reminder to the believers.

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Hud
(11:1) [This is] a Book whose verses are perfected and then presented in detail from [one who is] Wise and Acquainted.
(11:2) “Do not worship except Allah. Indeed, I am to you from Him a warner and a bringer of good tidings,”
(11:3) And [saying], “Seek forgiveness of your Lord and repent to Him, [and] He will let you enjoy a good provision for a specified term and give every doer of favor his favor. But if you turn away, then indeed, I fear for you the punishment of a great Day.
(11:4) To Allah is your return, and He is over all things competent.”

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Yusuf
(12:1) Alif L’am Ra. These are the verses of the Book that make things clear.
(12:2) We have revealed this Quran in the Arabic language so that you may
understand.
(12:3) We relate to you the best of stories through this Quran by Our
revelation to you, though before this you were one of those who did not know.

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Al-Hijr
(15:87) And We have certainly given you, seven of the often repeated [verses] and the great Qur’an.
(15:88) Do not extend your eyes toward that by which We have given enjoyment to [certain] categories of the disbelievers, and do not
grieve over them. And lower your wing to the believers
(15:89) And say, “Indeed, I am the clear warner”

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An-Nahl
(16:64) And We have not revealed to you the Book except for you to make clear to them that wherein they have differed and as guidance and mercy for a people who believe.

(16:89) And [mention] the Day when We will resurrect among every nation a witness over them from themselves. And We will bring you as a witness over your nation. And We have sent down to you the Book as clarification for all things and as guidance and mercy and good tidings for the Muslims.

(16:97) Whoever does righteousness, whether male or female, while he is a believer – We will surely cause him to live a good life, and We will surely give them their reward [in the Hereafter] according to the best of what they used to do.
(16:98) So when you recite the Qur’an, [first] seek refuge in Allah from Satan, the expelled [from His mercy].
(16:99)Indeed, there is for him no authority over those who have believed and rely upon their Lord.
(16:100) His authority is only over those who take him as an ally and those who through him associate others with Allah.

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Al-Isra
(17:78) Establish prayer at the decline of the
sun [from its meridian] until the darkness of the night and [also] the Qur’an
of dawn. Indeed, the recitation of dawn is ever witnessed.
(17:79) And from [part of] the night, pray with it as additional [worship] for you; it is expected that your Lord will resurrect you to a praised station.
(17:80) And say, “My Lord, cause me to enter a sound entrance and to exit a sound exit and grant me from Yourself a supporting authority.”
(17:81) And say, “Truth has come, and falsehood has departed. Indeed is falsehood, [by nature], ever bound to depart.”
(17:82) And We send down of the Qur’an that which is healing and mercy for the believers, but it does not increase the wrongdoers except in loss.

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Luqman
(31:2) These are verses of the wise Book,
(31:3) As guidance and mercy for the doers of good
(31:4) Who establish prayer and give zakah, and they, of the Hereafter, are certain [in faith].

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Az-Zumar
(39:2) Indeed, We have sent down to you the Book in truth. So worship Allah, [being] sincere to Him in religion.
(39:3) Unquestionably, for Allah is the pure religion. And those who take protectors besides Him [say], “We only worship them that they may bring us nearer to Allah in position.” Indeed, Allah will judge between them concerning that over which they differ. Indeed, Allah does not guide he who is a liar and [confirmed] disbeliever.

(39:41) Indeed, We sent down to you the Book for the people in truth. So whoever is guided – it is for [the benefit of] his soul; and whoever goes astray only goes astray to its detriment. And you are not a manager over them.

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Ash-Shura
(42:52) And thus We have revealed to you an inspiration of Our command. You did not know what is the Book or [what is] faith, but We have made it a light by which We guide whom We will of Our servants. And indeed you
guide to a straight path –
(42:53) The path of Allah, to whom belongs whatever is in the heavens and
whatever is on the earth. Unquestionably, to Allah do [all] matters evolve.

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Al-Muzzammil
(73:20) Indeed, your Lord knows, that you stand [in prayer] almost two thirds of the night or half of it or a third of it, and [so do] a group of those with you. And Allah determines [the extent of] the night and the day. He has known that you [Muslims] will not be able to do it and has turned to you in forgiveness, so recite what is easy [for you] of the Qur’an. He has known that there will be among you those who are ill and others traveling throughout the land seeking [something] of the bounty of Allah and others fighting for the cause of Allah. So recite what is easy from it and establish prayer and give zakah and loan Allah a goodly loan. And whatever good you put forward for yourselves – you will find it with Allah. It is better and greater in reward. And seek forgiveness of Allah. Indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.