I grew up in a Christian family (Ukrainian background ) with a lovely mother and father and one older sister. Alhamdulilah, May Allah guide them to Islam one day if he wills-Aameen.

My father always used to take me to Church as a kid. I would attend Sunday school at the church and other than that really only went to church for Christmas and for the plays. I never connected with the religion and noticed a lot of people saying they were Christian’s and religious people but doing horrible things. And I had a lot of questions that could never be answered even as a kid.

In 2000, when we moved to Milton. When I was in grade 1, for some reason we stopped going to church. Not sure why. Growing up, We didn’t really have much religious practices in our household, other just getting together than “Christmas” and “Easter” and saying

“Grace”Before eating. When trials would come, and I would see bad and evil in the world, I started to feel lost and wonder what the purpose of life was. And why we are here. And believed there was too much evil in the world for there to be a God, so I began having atheist / agnostic beliefs. I started working in Correctional facility at 22 years old as a corrections officer . I saw even more bad, and evil, and I was dealing with my own internal struggles as well. I was really lost and depressed and kept contemplating what is the purpose of life…. At times in my early 20s I even contemplated just ending it all…I didn’t even know it but I guess I was asking for Guidance.. subhan Allah. I was going out every weekend to escape from my depression , partying. Always travelling and having the mind set you only live once.. only to try to run away from my own emptiness. When I was 24 years old I got in to Law enforcement, in Toronto, and when I just finished my coach officer training, I got partnered up with this male partner (now my husband) who I just fell in love with him/ his character and his kindness, well one night shift passes and then we knew we loved each other. Through him I got exposed to who Muslims are, to what Islam is, and I took it upon myself, to learn about Islam, not knowing anything at all about the religion, and to be quite honest having some Pretty horrible misconceptions about Muslims before from the media and the news. I was given a copy of the Clear Quran, and I opened it up and read a page or two. And something just clicked. Subhan Allah, It was like the smoke was clear. I watched so many revert videos on YouTube and saw all these white people and people from different countries who converted to Islam so I thought if they could do it I could do it too. I remember watching mufti Menk and just thinking this religion sounds so beautiful and I don’t even understand what was really Being said but it just made my heart full and happy. I just connected with it. Over time my love for Islam grew more and more and I knew I was destined for this. For the first time in my life, I felt peace, true inner happiness, connection with our Creator, I started to learn our purpose in this life, I Began to understand why people on this earth do bad things and why people are tested, and why bad things happen to good people sometimes. I began to learn about the contradictions in the Bible and how everything I was told and taught as a kid was pretty much wrong that’s why I never connected with it and only ran away from it. Alhamdulilah, I took my shahada one year ago, and then we got married 3 months later. Alhamdulilah
Coming to Islam was the best thing that ever happened to me. I am so so grateful to Allah swt for guiding me back to Him. I have no words to thank Him.

May Allah swt keep us all steadfast and keep our hearts firm upon His religion. And use us as a means of giving dawah… and also helping other people learn About the one true religion. Aameen ya Rabbul Alameen

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As-Siyam generally means “to abstain from something.” For example, a verse in the Quran says: “I have vowed to the Merciful to abstain – that is, from speaking.” What is meant here is abstaining from the food, drink, and sexual intercourse from dawn until sunset with the explicit intention of doing so (for the sake of Allah).

The Virtues of Fasting:
Abu Hurairah reported the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, saying: “Allah said: ‘Every action of the son of Adam is for him except fasting, for this is solely for Me, I give the reward for it.’ The fast is a shield. If one is fasting, he should not use foul language, raise his voice, or behave foolishly. If someone reviles him or fights with him he should say, ‘I am fasting.’ twice. By the One in whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, the [bad] breath of the one who is fasting is better in the sight of Allah on the Day of Resurrection than the smell of musk. The one who is fasting is happy at two times: when he breaks his fast he is happy with it, and when he meets his Lord he will be happy that he has fasted.” This is related by Ahmad, Muslim, and an-Nasa’i. A similar version was recorded by al-Bukhari and Abu Dawud, but with the following addition: “He leaves his food, drink, and desires for My sake. His fasting is for Me… I will give the reward for it, and for every good deed, he will receive ten similar to it.”

Abdullah ibn ‘Amr reported that the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said: “The fast and the Quran are two intercessors for the servant of Allah on the Day of Resurrection. The fast will say: ‘O Lord, I prevented him from his food and desires during the days. Let me intercede for him.’ The Quran will say: ‘I prevented him from sleeping at night. Let me intercede for him.’ And their intercession will be accepted.” Ahmad related this hadith with a sahih (meaning “authentic” or “sound”) chain.

Abu Umamah reported: “I came to the Messenger of Allah and said: ‘Order me to do a deed that will allow me to enter Paradise.’ He said: ‘Stick to fasting, as there is no equivalent to it.’ Then I came to him again and he said: ‘Stick to fasting.’” This hadith is related by Ahmad, an-Nasa’i, and al-Hakim who classified it as sahih.

Abu Sa’id al-Khudri reported that the Messenger of Allah said: “No servant fasts on a day in the path of Allah except that Allah removes the hellfire seventy years further away from his face.” This is related by “the group”. except for Abu Dawud.

Sahl ibn Sa’d reported that the Prophet said: “There is a gate to Paradise that is called ar-Rayyan. On the Day of Resurrection it will say: ‘Where are those who fasted?’ When the last [one] has passed through the gate, it will be locked.” This is related by al-Bukhari and Muslim.

Types of Fasting:
There are two types of fasting: obligatory and voluntary. Obligatory can be further subdivided into the fast of Ramadan, the fast of expiation and the fast of fulfilling a vow.

The Fast of Ramadan
(2:183-185) O you who have believed, decreed upon you is fasting as it was decreed upon those before you that you may self-restraint. [Fasting for] a prescribed number of days. … The month of Ramadan [is that] in which was revealed the Qur’an, a guidance for the people and clear proofs of guidance and criterion. So whoever sights [the new moon of] the month, let him fast it; and whoever is ill or on a journey – then an equal number of other days. Allah intends for you ease and does not intend for you hardship and [wants] for you to complete the period and to glorify Allah for that [to] which He has guided you; and perhaps you will be grateful.

From the sunnah we have the following statements of the Prophet: “Islam is built upon five pillars: testifying that there is no God except Allah and that Muhammad is His Messenger, the establishment of the prayer, the giving of zakah, the fast of Ramadan and the pilgrimage to Maakah.” Talhah ibn ‘Ubaidullah reported that a man came to the Prophet and said: “O Messenger of Allah, tell me what Allah requires of me as regards fasting.” He answered, “The month of Ramadan.” The man asked: “Is there any other [fast]?” The Prophet answered: “No, unless you do so voluntarily.”

The Virtues of Ramadan and the Deeds Done during it
Abu Hurairah reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said: “The blessed month has come to you. Allah has made fasting during it obligatory upon you. During it, the gates to Paradise are opened and the gates to hellfire are locked, and the devils are chained. There is a night [during this month] which is better than a thousand months. Whoever is deprived of its good is really deprived [of something great].” This is related by Ahmad and an-Nasa’i.

Muslim relates that Abu Hurairah reported the Prophet saying: “The time between the five prayers, two consecutive Friday prayers, and two consecutive Ramadans are expiation for all that has happened during that period, provided that one has avoided the grave sins.”

Abu Sa’id al-Khudri reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said: “Whoever fasts the month of Ramadan, obeying all of its limitations and guarding himself against what is forbidden, has in fact atoned for any sins he committed before it.” Ahmad related this hadith with a good chain.

The Consequence of breaking the fast of Ramadan
Abu Hurairah reported that the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said: “Whoever breaks his fast during Ramadan without having one of the excuses that Allah would excuse him for, then even a perpetual fast, if he were to fast it, would not make up for that day.” This is related by Abu Dawud, Ibn Majah, and at-Tirmidhi.

The Arrival of Ramadan
This event is confirmed by sighting the new moon, even if it is seen by just only one person, or by the passage of thirty days in the immediately preceding month of Sha’ban.

Abu Hurairah reported that the Prophet instructed: “Fast after you have seen it [the new crescent] and end the fast when you see it. If it is hidden from you, then wait until the thirty days of Sha’ban have passed.” This is related by al-Bukhari and Muslim.

The Essential Elements of the Fast
The fast has two essential elements (literally, “pillars”) that must be fulfilled for it to be valid and acceptable. They are:

(1) Abstaining from those acts that break the fast:
(2:187) It has been made permissible for you the night preceding fasting to go to your wives [for sexual relations]. They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them. Allah knows that you used to deceive yourselves, so He accepted your repentance and forgave you. So now, have relations with them and seek that which Allah has decreed for you. And eat and drink until the white thread of dawn becomes distinct to you from the black thread [of night]. Then complete the fast until the sunset. And do not approach them as long as you are staying for worship in the mosques [I’htikaf]. These are the limits [set by] Allah, so do not approach them. Thus does Allah make clear His ordinances to the people that they may guard themselves against evil.

This is also based on the following hadith: “When the verse ‘Eat and drink until the white thread becomes distinct to you…’ was revealed, I took a black thread and a white thread and placed them underneath my pillow. During the night I looked at them to see if I could distinguish between them. In the morning, I went to the Messenger of Allah and mentioned that to him and he said: ‘It is the black of the night and the white of the day.’”

It is also the time that Fajr starts.

(2) The Intention
Allah instructs in the Quran: “And they are ordained nothing else than to serve Allah, keeping religion pure for Him.” The Prophet, peace be upon him, said: “Actions are judged according to the intention behind them, and for everyone is what he intended.”

The intention must be made before Fajr and during every night of Ramadan. The intention is valid during any part of the night. It need not be spoken, as it is in reality an act of the heart which does not involve the tongue. It will be fulfilled by one’s intention to fast out of obedience to Allah and for seeking His pleasure.

Who must Fast
Every sane, adult, healthy male Muslim who is not traveling at that time. As for a woman, she must not be menstruating or having post-childbirth bleeding. People who are insane, minors, and those who are traveling, menstruating, or going through post-childbirth bleeding, the elderly, breast-feeding or pregnant women do not need to observe the fast.

(2:183)…So whoever among you are ill or on a journey [during them] – then an equal number of days [are to be made up]. And upon those who are able [to fast, but with hardship] – a ransom [as substitute] of feeding a poor person [each day]. And whoever volunteers excess – it is better for him. But to fast is best for you, if you only knew…

Making up the Missed Days of Ramadan
Any days except few exceptions, after Ramadan and before the next Ramadan, can fast. Women who missed the fasting in Ramadan due to menstruation and childbirth, do not need to make up the missed prayers, only need to make up the missed fast.

The Forbidden Days to Fast
(1) The days of Eid.
(2) The days of Tashreeq (that is the three days following the Eid al-Adha)
(3) It is prohibited to single out Friday as a day of fasting. If one also fasts Thursday or Saturday, then it’s permissible to fast on Friday.
(4) It is forbidden to fast on the “day of doubt”. Abu Hurairah reported that the Messenger of Allah said: “Do not precede Ramadan by fasting the day or two before it unless it is a day on which the person usually fasts.”
(5) It is forbidden to fast every day of the year.
(6) It is prohibited to fast consecutive days without eating at all [al-wisal].

The Manners of Fasting
(1) Eating a pre-dawn meal. Al-Miqdam ibn Madyakrib reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said: “You should eat this pre-dawn meal for it is a blessed nourishment.” This is related by an-Nasa’i with a good chain.
(2) Hastening in breaking the fast. Sahl ibn Sa’d reported that the Prophet said: “People will always be with the good as long as they hasten in breaking the fast.” This is related by al-Bukhari and Muslim. Anas reported: “The Messenger of Allah would break his fast with ripe dates before he would pray. If those were not available, he would eat dried dates. If those were not available, he would drink some water.” This hadith is related by Abu Dawud.
(3) Supplications while breaking the fast and while fasting.
(4) Refraining from performing any actions that do not befit the fasting. Fasting is a type of worship that draws one closer to Allah. Allah has prescribed it to purify the soul and to train it in good deeds. The fasting person must be on guard against any act that may cause him to lose the benefits of his fast. Thus, his fast will increase his God-consciousness. Fasting is not just refraining from eating and drinking, but it is also refraining from everything else that Allah has forbidden. Abu Hurairah reported that the Prophet said: “Allah does not need the fast of one who does not abandon false speech or acting according to his false speech.” This is related by the group, except for Muslim.
(5) Using the tooth stick [brush]. It is preferred for the fasting person to use a tooth stick or a brush for teeth.
(6) Being generous and studying the Quran.
(7) Striving to perform as many acts of worship as possible during the last ten days of Ramadan.

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Al-Qadr (القدر) is the belief that Allah has decided everything that will happen in the world and in people’s lives, which is also called Predestination. (87:2-3) “Allah created and proportioned and who destined and [then] guided.”

Life is like an online game. The game developers have designed the ground, no matter whatever direction you choose, you will meet with different fate. The whole game depends how well you play because you have the ultimate control in the game. 

It’s like our life. Allah has finished designing this game and whatever good or bad, it’s already there. Then Allah gave us free mind to decide our move, no matter what our move is, we will meet our fate that we choose. 

(39:62-63) “Allah is the Creator of all things, and He is, over all things, Disposer of affairs. To Him belong the keys of the heavens and the earth. And they who disbelieve in the verses of Allah – it is those who are the losers.”

Life is a series of decision-making. Allah created good and bad, including everything we need in this world. It’s up to us to decide how we play this game. Allah gave us this game menu – Quran to read and to follow. It’s true, many people seem very successful in this game without reading the menu. However, we see only what our eyes see, we measure success only from people’s appearances, wealth, education, authority and so on.  However, we do not really know what all these people are and will be going through.

(4:78) Wherever you may be, death will overtake you, even if you should be within towers of lofty construction. But if good comes to them, they say, “This is from Allah “; and if evil befalls them, they say, “This is from you.” Say, “All [things] are from Allah.” So what is [the matter] with those people that they can hardly understand any statement?What comes to you of good is from Allah, but what comes to you of evil is from yourself.

(42:30-31) And whatever strikes you of disaster – it is for what your hands have earned; but He pardons much. And you will not cause failure [to Allah] upon the earth. And you have not besides Allah any protector or helper.

Allah said the ultimate winner will be really known after the world ends (which means all the players will be ended at the same time).  Many people started the game earlier and left earlier. Since many of the people simply do not really believe they will have a final bonus there to wait for them, so people simply fail to realize. (23:62) And We charge no soul except [with that within] its capacity, and with Us is a record which speaks with truth; and they will not be wronged.

Of course, Allah said (44:38-39) “And We did not create the heavens and earth and that between them in play. We did not create them except in truth, but most of them do not know.”

This is just a simple analogy for us to realize the predestination. Allah has created everything in pairs, including good and bad. It’s up to us to decide how you want to meet your fate. This life ends, and will be final until Day of Judgment. We cannot restart like the video game. So, stop, think, vision what kind of life you want, and always remember to set one of the ultimate goals is to Jannah, then plan and EXECUTE, at last but not least, Dua to Allah for guidance, knowledge and wisdom. You will steer through whatever barrier in front of you, Insha-Allah. 

May Allah guide us always to His Right Path that pleases Him the most. Ameen

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Ar-Raheeq Al-Makhtum (the Sealed Nectar)
Biography of the Noble Prophet, P.179-180

The Imams of Hadith narrate a number of details about this event, the following of which is a summary:
Ibn Al-Qaiyim said: “Allah’s Messenger[pbuh] was carried physically – according to the correct view – from the Sacred Mosque in Makkah to Bait Al-Maqdis in Jerusalem, riding on Al-Buraq in the company of Gabriel.  There he alighted, tied the horse to a ring in the gate of the Mosque and led the Prophets in prayer.  Then during that night he ascended from Bait Al-Maqdis to the lowest heaven.  Gabriel sought permission to enter.  It was opened and he saw Adam [pbuh], the forefather of mankind.  The Prophet [pbuh] greeted him and Adam [pbuh] welcomed him, returned his greeting, and expressed his faith in Muhammad’s Prophethood.  He saw the souls of martyrs on his right and those of the wretched on his left.

Gabriel then ascended with the Prophet [pbuh] to the second heaven, sought entry and there he saw and greeted John, son of Zacharia (Yahya bin Zakariya [pbuh]) and Jesus [pbuh], son of Mary.  They returned his greeting, welcomed him and expressed their faith in his Prophet.

Then they reached the third heaven where they saw Joseph (Yusuf [pbuh]) and greet him.  The latter welcomed the Prophet [pbuh] returned his greeting, expressed faith in his Prophethood.
The Prophet [pbuh], in the company of Gabriel, then reached the fourth heaven where he met the Propeht Idris [pbuh] and greeted him.  Idris [pbuh] returned the greeting and expressed faith in his Prophethood.  Then he was carried to the fifth heaven where he met the Prophet Aaron (Harun [pbuh]) and greeted him.  The latter returned the greeting and expressed faith in his Prophethood.  In the sixth heaven he met Moses (Musa [pbuh]) and greeted him.  The latter returned the greeting and expressed faith in his Prophethood.  Muhammad [pbuh] on leaving, saw that Moses [pbuh] began to weep.  He asked about the reason.  Moses [pbuh] answered that he was weeping because he witnessed a man sent after him as a Messenger (Muhammad [pbuh]) who was able to lead more of his people to Paradise than he himself did.  Then Prophet Muhammad [pbuh] reached the seventh heaven and met Abraham (Ibrahim [pbuh]) and greeted him.  The latter returned the salutation and expressed faith in his Prophethood.  Then he was carried to Sidratul-Muntaha (the remotest lote tree) and was shown Al-Bait Al-Ma’mur [(the much frequented house) encompassed daily by seventy thousand angels, so that the angels who once encompassed it would not have their turn again till the Resurrection].

He was then presented before Allah. He was brought near such that he was at the distance of two bow’s length or less. Allah revealed to His servant as He willed, ordaining fifty daily prayers for him.  On his return, he spoke to Moses [pbuh], informing him that his followers had been enjoined to pray fifty times a day.  Moses [pbuh] addressing the Prophet [pbuh] said: “Your followers cannot perform so many prayers.  Go back to your Lord and ask for a decrease in number.”  The Prophet [pbuh] turned to Gabriel, he nodded, “Yes, if you desire,” and ascended with him till Allah the Almight, Glorious is He, reduced the prayers by then.  He then descended and reported that to Moses [pbuh], who again urged him to request a further reduction.  Muhammad [pbuh] once more begged his Lord to reduce the number still further.  He went again and again at the suggestion of Moses [pbuh] for reduction in the number of prayers till these were reduced to only five.  Moses [pbuh] again asked him to implore for more reduction, but he said: “I fell ashamed now of repeatedly asking my Lord for reduction.  I accept and resign to His Will.”  When Muhammad [pbuh] went farther, a Caller was heard saying: “I have imposed My Ordinance and lightened the burden of My servants.”

Revelation
The Story of Muhammad, Peace and blessings be upon him
by Meraj Mohiuddin, P.163-164

Abu Talib’s wife, Fatimah bint Asad, had entered Islam sometime before or after the death of her husband.  Her daughter Umm Hani remained close to the Prophet and, in the year after Abu Talib’s death, invites him over to lead the evening prayer in her house.  The Prophet (pbuh) accepts his cousin’s invitation and, after the prayer, rests at her house.

Like his grandfather ‘Abd al-Mutallib, the Prophet (pbuh) used to enjoy spending nights in the Hijr, near the tomb of Hagar and Ishmael.  After a short nap at Umm Hani’s house, he steps out to visit the Ka’bah and falls asleep in the Hijr. In the midst of his sleep, he is greeted by Gabriel who leads him to a mounted winged beast named Buraq.  Then, as described in Surah Al-Isra, he is carried to Jerusalem (about 760 miles away), where he encounters several biblical prophets and leads them in prayer (the Isra’).

After the congregational prayer, the Prophet ascends through the seven heavens.  At each level he encountered different Prophets, who collectively endorse his prophethood.  Surah An-Najm captures the transcendent moment when, after passing the seventh heaven, the Prophet finally meets his Creator:(The Star, 53:16-18) When there covered the Lote Tree that which covered [it]. The sight [of the Prophet] did not swerve, nor did it transgress [its limit]. He certainly saw of the greatest signs of his Lord.

At the height of the Me’raj (ascension), the Prophet was commanded to instruct his followers to perform 50 prayers daily.  He also received revelation that contained the creed of his faith:
(The Cow 2:285) The Messenger believes in what his Lord revealed, so do the faithful. Each of them believes in Allah and His angels, His books and His messengers. [The believers say], “We don’t consider one of His messengers as being better than another.” [They pray], “We hear and we obey. [We seek] Your forgiveness, our Lord, for we [know that our] final destination is back with You.”
As the Prophet (pbuh) descended through the heavens, he was approached by Moses who persuaded him to return to God and asked Him to make worship easier for his community by decreasing the number of obligatory daily prayers.  When the Prophet (pbuh) returned a second time, Moses reiterated his recommendation.  They repeat this time until the number of daily prayers was reduced to five.  Even then Moses encouraged him to seek a further reduction, but the Prophet (pbuh) responded: “I feel ashamed now of repeatedly asking my Lord for reduction.  I accept and resign to His Will.”

** From the commentary: “There is a difference of opinion on what year the Night Journey took place.  Some scholars believe it happened much earlier in Mecca, while others suggest that it must have happened after the Year of Sadness because of the general consensus that Khadijah died before the five daily prayers were established.””Although there is some difference of opinion, the Isra’ and Me’raj most likely occurred shortly after the Prophet’s return from Ta’if.  While the miraculous experience was a turning point in the Prophet’s 23-year career, it also tested the conviction of his Companions.”

P.166
The response to the night journey
The next morning, the Prophet described his miraculous journey to Umm Hani.  Against her counsel, he insisted on sharing his experience with the Quraysh. As Umm Hani predicted, the Prophet’s enemies are thrilled to hear what sounds like a ludicrous story, which his companions faced an unexpected trial of faith. 

(The Night Journey 17:60) We [only use such symbols] to instill fear in them [so that they’ll perhaps be inclined to listen], but it only adds to their immense suppression [of faith].

Those who are nearby ask Abu Bakr, who hadn’t yet heard about what had happened, to confirm the Prophet’s incredible story. But for Abu Bakr, the news was hardly believed. “If so he saith, then it is true.” he calmly responded. “And where is the wonder of it? He telleth me that tidings come to him from Heaven to earth in one hour of the day or night, and I know him to be speaking the truth.  And that is beyond what ye cavil at.”

Since the first revelation, Abu Bakr never wavers from his conviction in God and his commitment to the Prophet (pbuh).  Shortly after hearing Abu Bakr’s response to the Isra’ account, the Prophet (pbuh) honoured him the title as-Siddiq (the great witness of truth).

While the Night Journey is a unique moment in the Prophet’s life, Surah Al An’am explains that it is not unlike the experiences of Muhammad’s great forefather.

(Al-An’am 6:75) That’s the result [of Our demonstration] to Abraham, when We showed him that We have all dominion over the heavens and the earth, and thus he was convinced [that the idols were false].

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During this waiting time, it is suggested trying to retain the wife; otherwise separate with her according to acceptable terms with two just men to witness and establish the testimony.

If the wife is found pregnant during this waiting time, the man has to keep her at home until the baby is born. The man has to responsible for all the expenses during the waiting time no matter she’s pregnant or not. Also compensate the woman if she feeds the baby. But if you cannot bear with each other then let another woman suckle the baby for you.

Below is the surah quoted for your reference. It’s so clear that Taqwa (awareness of Allah) is so important during this divorce process. Allah has given clear instructions and women’s rights during this process in the Quran. If anyone simply declare talaq three times at a time and refuse to take the woman back or push her out of the home, he is clearly not following Islam.

At-Talaq (Divorce)
Translation the Clear Quran
(65:1) O Prophet! [Instruct the believers:] When you [intend to] divorce women, then divorce them with concern for their waiting period, and count it accurately. And fear God, your Lord.  Do not force them out of their homes, nor should they leave – unless they commit a blatant misconduct.  These are the limits set by God.  And whoever transgresses God’s limits has truly wronged his own soul.  You never know, perhaps God will bring about a change [of heart] later.
(65:2) Then when they have [almost] reached the end of their waiting period, either retain them honourably or separate from them honourably.  And call two of your reliable men to witness [either way] – and [let the witnesses] bear true testimony for [the sake of] God. This is enjoined on whoever has faith in God and the Last Day.  And whoever is mindful of God, He will make a way out for them, 
(65:3) and provide for them from sources they could never imagine.  And whoever puts their trust in God, then He [alone] is sufficient for them. Certainly God achieves His Will.  God has already set a destiny for everything.
(65:4) As for your women past the age of menstruation, in case you do not know, their waiting period is three months, and those who have not menstruated as well.  As for those who are pregnant, their waiting period ends with delivery.  And whoever is mindful of God, He will make their matters easy for them.
(65:5) This is the commandment of God, which He has revealed to you.  And whoever is mindful of God, He will absolve them of their sins and reward them immensely.
(65:6) Let them live where you live [during their waiting period], according to your means.  And do not harass them to make their stay unbearable.  If they are pregnant, then maintain them until they deliver.  And if they nurse your child, compensate them, and consult together courteously.  But if you fail to reach an agreement, then another woman will nurse [the child] for the father.
(65:7) Let the man of wealth provide according to his means.  As for the one with limited resources, let him provide according to whatever God has given him.  God does not require of any soul beyond what He has given it.  After hardship, God will bring about ease.

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I have faced ridicule from my family but at this point I was searching for a peace that I could not find in this world. No matter what I did or gave up I couldn’t find happiness. I gave up drinking smoking and parties and still felt like I wasn’t complete. Two years ago,  I found out that I had Hodgkin’s lymphoma cancer  and was told I would have to get radiation treatments at the Jurvinski cancer center here in Hamilton where I live, and when I went to the doctors to start my treatment I found out I was pregnant with my now 17 month old son. I was told to either choose to  save my life or give life and I put my son’s life ahead of myself and postponed my treatment carried my son for 36 weeks and had him removed to then start my treatments. I did my treatments in January 2019 I have been in remission since March of 2019 and I said God if you see me through and allow me to live long enough to give birth to my son I will give my life to serve you and this is a promise I made to myself and God. I have been through so much mental and physical abuse due to very bad relationship and I knew that the love I was seeking could only be found in Allah. This Tuesday I felt a sadness due to stress and feeling hopeless because nothing seemed to be going my way.  I said I need to get to that mosque ASAP or I might not be here to serve you God I told myself that if I don’t go now my children will be telling my story instead of myself so I drove to the mosque early morning crying and walked in and said I am not leaving until I am found because I felt I was so lost and that I didn’t want to to just be Alive because I had children. I told them that I needed more than that I needed a purpose .  I want to live for Allah and i don’t care what it takes I need help now. The brothers there were so kind and didn’t turn their back to me they were welcoming and told me don’t worry someone is coming now and there going to make sure you are saved today by the grace of Allah and you will take Shahada today . At that moment all I could do is fall to my feet and I weeped like a baby. I stayed there for the morning learning how to wash wudu and learned how to make prayer. I’m still learning to do the prayer alfatiah and one day Insha Allah I will know it. I’m excited to gain a new family in Islam and  I’m so grateful to you all and to the sister who came to meet me Tuesday to teach me and speak with me I’m so so grateful to the brothers that Allah put there because Allah knew what was in my heart and in my head that morning and Allah wanted good for me. Since Tuesday I’ve been crying tears of joy and I’ve been praying and telling Allah thank you for not forsaking me. I’ve been reading and I’ve been trying to learn the prayer in Arabic. I know I am not perfect but I want to try to make Allah happy everyday if I can because Allah saved me.

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When I went out in public and would see muslim women wearing hijab I would always give them a smile and say in my head I would love to be able to wear a scarf one day like this and show this amount of modesty and faith to god as this must take a lot of courage to do so. Unlike the typical negative and biased opinions from today’s society on hijabs and muslims I would praise them silently and not speak to my friends or family on this matter of how I really felt . How I really felt was deep down I did have a connection with them outside of the fact that my sister was a muslim and that one day maybe I could be one as well. Not once would my sister ever push her religion on to me when visiting rather she would let time do it’s work and trust that Allah (s.w.t) would guide me and show me the straight path if it was meant to happen. It was my calling to explore it more throughout the years behind closed doors you could say after being exposed to it throughout the years through her and other people that I would meet in later years down the road.

I was born and raised in Calgary Alberta and have a mix of ethnicities . French, German and quarter Japanese. I was baptized as a baby in the Lutheran/Christian faith. I have always believed in god and for quite sometime even prophet Jesus (s.a) . I would accompany friends to bible summer day camps as a child. In my adulthood I became interested in Catholicism through my Italian boyfriend at that time and attended catechism classes and went to masses held at Christmas time and Easter. But despite all this something never would truly hit me as the truth in my heart and speak to my soul. At that time I was devastated when I found out after investing time in studying this religion that I was not able to be confirmed in it as I was living with this boyfriend and not married so the Father told me at the end of my classes that he would not be able to confirm me . I know realize looking back that allah (s.wt) knew I was not meant to follow this religion and this is why I never entered it. Subanallah. After being given a hardship of this same common law partner leaving me after a ten year relationship I had to relearn how to love myself and pick up the broken pieces which took some time . I have struggled with anxiety and depression most of my life and still do to this day but I would always have a conversation with Allah (s.w.t) to help me through the tough days and definitely had to have many conversations after this heartbreak to give me strength to move on. Needless to say Allah (s.wt) would be giving me some direct conversations in the years to come rather than the other way around.

A few years ago on my journey to healing I met a Muslim male from Afghanistan who started to
also show me the beauty of Islam as well but more so on a first hand account compared to my sister since he was a born muslim. . Some of these examples would be stopping everything to
pray and how humble and grateful he was for simple things I took for granted growing up as a
Canadian. He would say a powerful thing to me one day that “Brandi you just need to have
prayer in your life and it will help you in a lot of ways” and mashallah since converting I have
seen what he has meant by this. That feeling while you are in sujood and are completely in
submission to our creator is one that is so humbling and yet so eye opening to be grateful for
the present moment and all that we have. I was always drawn to the sound of the call to prayer
as well when I would hear it play and he would let me listen live when he was back home
visiting in Afghanistan and it would make the hair stand up on my arms . And to add another
interesting note it was this exact trip that he brought me back a keychain with the arabic name
“Sabira” that he was drawn to. This name means “patience” and who knew that this would be
now the muslim name I have decided to choose to go by due to the significance of the meaning
which I need to implement more of in my life and as a special way to honour this story.
After some hardships with this person as well as some ups and downs in our relationship we
were torn apart for a bit. Either it was an angel or Allah (s.w.t) directly spoke to me one day
and whispered in my ear “ you know what you have to do to make it right “. So we started
seeing each other again and allah (s.w.t) brought him back in my life for a reason to lead me
closer to Islam and finalize my conversion story.

Allah (s.wt) gave me quite a few physical signs in the last 6 months using nature and social
media, believe it or not, to affirm I was on the right path to taking my shahada. Such as a leaf
falling from the sky and landing in my cup of tea I was drinking one day outside despite there
being no wind and no leaves blowing around and I just finished reading a Quranic quote on
social media “ not a leaf falls but that he knows it”. And this was followed a couple weeks later
by a final affirmation involving another leaf. This time a huge single one laying on my bus stop
seat in the early morning before sunrise “fajr” time when I got there, despite there being a skiff
of snow on the ground at the time and most of the leaves disintegrated by then. God showed
me his mercy first with a tiny small leaf and then by doubling or tripling the leaf in size only
affirmed his significance. In both incidences I was overtaken with an overwhelming peace in my
heart that made me stop to see the beauty of this world and know that this was truly a physical
affirmation directed just for me and Allah (s.w.t) using it as a means to speak directly to me that
I was on the right path. Now I speak directly to him five times a day and have a beautiful
conversation with him and get this same peace he gave me by showing me those leaves.
There were quite a few other occasions throughout the years where a person, object and
social media were used to guide me to Islam which I won’t mention them all. One significant
example that I will share though is my sisters son at just four years of age whispered in my ear
one day. “ Aunty Brandi you know you will burn in the hellfire if you aren’t Muslim”. The
manner in which he said this and what he said shocked me at that time and I had forgotten this
incident until recently it came to me in my dream and I woke up remembering I had wrote it in
my journal years ago. Sure enough I did write it down and realized yet again this was allah
(s.w.t) giving me yet another affirmation. . My nephew is now eighteen years old and
mashallah I shared this story with him the day before taking my shahada and he had a smile on his face and knew that yes this was a direct message from allah (s.w.t) when he had said it
many years ago. ( I wish to add that I mean no offence to any non Muslims reading this about
the burning in the hellfire) but had to share this to add to my own individual revert story).
In the last 4 months before taking my shahada I took it upon myself to start reading the Quran
and learn some parts of prayer in Arabic and gain more knowledge I didn’t have before. I went
out of my comfort zone and attended the Being Me conference in Calgary by myself and have
made connections with sisters in Islam that will help me grow and be of a good support for me
now. I also made friends with other reverts and attended some halaqas at mosques while
wearing hijab to get a feel for it and even had the opportunity to attend a lecture done by
Nouman Ali Khan. Some of these connections have been amazing to say the least and have
lead to opportunities for me such as being able to share my recent revert story on social media
and having the recent opportunity of having a piece of clothing named after me . All because I
purchased a hijab and a shirt from a fellow sister who has her own clothing line inspired to
share stories of different women and I ended up wearing it while taking my shahada and she
was looking for recent reverts as an inspiration for her new clothing line coming out. All of this
has forced me into the “spotlight” you could say and out of my normal comfort zone. I have
been blessed with a new social life and friends which I never had before and always wanted
which can only help me grow as a new revert and as a women. There is definitely no mere
coincidence in life and I have always held the firm belief that everything happens for a reason.
Subhanallah.

To finalize my story I took my shahada on December 21 2019 and with Allah’s (s.w.t) blessing it
was done by sheikh Omar Suleiman at the RIS conference in Toronto. My sister and her family
got to be apart of it. It was a very intimate yet grand experience at the same time and the
emotion that overtook me while saying the testimony of faith was unforgettable. The liberation
I felt after and joy in my heart was my final affirmation that Allah (s.w.t) finally guided me to his
light. “ Light upon light allah guides who he wills”. He definitely guided me throughout these
past twenty years with my sister being the start of this exposure and then me seeing the signs
and other connections I have made through these last few years to lead me to what I now feel
is the truth and what was always the truth deep down in my heart all along. I just needed
reaffirmation of this to come to me for which it did. Mashallah.

I must add that I wish to thank my parents who have been supportive through this journey
having already experienced this twenty years ago with my sister’s conversion but my reversion
has been a bit smoother for them to accept and not so shocking as when my sister first did it. I
wish to also thank my family, friends and coworkers who have also been supportive of my
decision as well and have not been judgmental. Last but not least I would like to thank my sister
and her friend Melissa for always guiding me to the straight path throughout the years prior to
my reversion wether they realized it or not and showing me that as revert’s you can overcome
the obstacles we face and will continue to face unfortunately in today’s society as muslim
women. They continue to be my support throughout my journey along with other sister’s I
have met through them and who have become my muslim family. Alhamdilallah.

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‘I’ve cried in a lot of places during the “holiday season.” As a convert who left behind many traditions that come with the holiday season, I was left with longing and, sometimes, loneliness. I wrote an ebook, shared below, to help others in the same boat. One year I remember hearing a Christmas song playing while eating lunch out with my husband and kids, and just like that, the nostalgia hit me and I just welled up with tears. It’s been over 20 years since I became Muslim and it’s taken about that long to finally not feel sad.

My life is rich, alhamdulilah, as is my family life and our own traditions and so I am happy and content. But the feeling is still there sometimes. It’s a sign of beautiful memories with my family growing up. It’s part of the test that a convert goes through. We don’t need pity or to pity ourselves. We’ve chosen the greatest gift there is in the world: the know our Creator as He truly is. But compassion goes a long way. Suggestions to ease this time of year for converts you might know:

1) Drop a text or a phone call to anyone you know who is a convert. Let them know you recognize this time of year is difficult for many converts and ask how they are doing. Maybe invite them out for some of those seasonal flavors of coffee, cocoa, and desserts!

2) If you are married to a convert don’t shame them for their feelings. Don’t talk about how all those traditions are rooted in haram ideaas, pagan history, etc etc etc. They know. They get it. They chose Islam, remember? Instead, offer a hug, maybe take a drive just to look at lights together, and listen. Just listen. Part of grief is just feeling and processing. Be gentle.

3) Consider hosting gatherings in your home somewhere between 12/24-12/27 to give converts something positive to look forward to. Make it a potluck or just make all your friends cook and say “converts come free handed!” Trust me, the gestures will be really meaningful for them.

4) Remind converts of all the positive ways they can and should stay connected to their families during this time. Many teachers encourage people to still attend holiday dinners and lunches in order to maintain familial ties. Educate yourself on this subject with teachers who are in touch with the converts in their community. (Do not copy/paste fatwas from people who live in muslim lands who have no idea how to support converts!)

5) Download the ebook or share this post with others: http://marketives.com/client/holidayseason/download-page/e-book/WhenHolidayNostalgiaCreatesSaddness.pdf

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Marriage is not a cure for your addiction. Or your depression. Or your trauma. Or or or… a person you marry is not a tool to fix your problems. And by fixating on marriage as a balm for your gaping wounds, you can painfully wrong another.

Folks must work on self-development without waiting for marriage to miraculously fill their gaping wounds. Go to therapy, get your health together, enroll in a rehab program now.

On a spiritual level, if you aren’t waking up for fajr now but gush about how you can’t wait for Mr or Mrs Perfect Muslim to gently sprinkle water on your face for qiyam… keep a cup of water next to you in bed so that you can drench yourself and WAKE UP. How can you rely for the appearance of a person who doesn’t yet exist in your life in this role to take responsibility for your worship? YOU wake you up! YOU be the worshipper you wish you could be!

Marriage can be a great tool of self-improvement and can help us change for the best, with God’s will. A blissful marriage is a great blessing from God and the creation and care of a family is a great act of worship. The right spouse can truly *help* (not be the end all) you find a sense of wholeness and healing and comprehensive support and sometimes a sense of loving even your greatest insecurities. 
But you cannot expect that to *come* from someone else. That isn’t your spouse’s responsibility. You can’t want to get married so someone else heals you. God is the only One Who deserves that level of trust.

Work on your relationship with Him, work on your own mental, physical, spiritual, psychological nurturing and become the type of person you want to marry. And be the type of person someone else would thank God for marrying.

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Alay Imran
(3:2) Allah – there is no deity except Him, the Ever-Living, the Sustainer of existence.
(3:3) He has sent down upon you the Book in truth, confirming what was before it. And He revealed the Torah and the Gospel.
(3:4) Before as a guidance for mankind and also revealed this Al-Furqan [criterion for judgment between right and wrong]. Surely those who reject Allah’s revelations will be sternly punished; Allah is Mighty, capable of retribution.

(3:7) It is He who has sent down to you the Book; in it are verses [that are] precise – they are the foundation of the Book – and others unspecific. As for those in whose hearts is deviation [from truth], they will follow that of it which is unspecific, seeking discord and seeking an interpretation [suitable to them]. And no one knows its [true] interpretation except Allah. But those firm in knowledge say, “We believe in it. All [of it] is from our Lord.” And no one will be reminded except those of understanding.

(3:138) This [the Quran] is a clear declaration to mankind, a guidance and an admonition to those who fear Allah!

An-Nisa
(4:82) Then do they not reflect upon the Qur’an? If it had been from [any] other than Allah, they would have found within it much contradiction.

(4:105) Indeed, We have revealed to you, the Book in truth so you may judge between the people by that which Allah has shown you. So be not an advocate for those who betray trust.
(4:106) And seek forgiveness of Allah. Indeed, Allah is ever Forgiving and Merciful.

Al-A’raf
(7:2) [This is] a Book revealed to you – so let there not be in your breast distress therefrom – that you may warn thereby and as a reminder to the believers.

Hud
(11:1) [This is] a Book whose verses are perfected and then presented in detail from [one who is] Wise and Acquainted.
(11:2) “Do not worship except Allah. Indeed, I am to you from Him a warner and a bringer of good tidings,”
(11:3) And [saying], “Seek forgiveness of your Lord and repent to Him, [and] He will let you enjoy a good provision for a specified term and give every doer of favor his favor. But if you turn away, then indeed, I fear for you the punishment of a great Day.
(11:4) To Allah is your return, and He is over all things competent.”

Yusuf
(12:1) Alif L’am Ra. These are the verses of the Book that make things clear.
(12:2) We have revealed this Quran in the Arabic language so that you may
understand.
(12:3) We relate to you the best of stories through this Quran by Our
revelation to you, though before this you were one of those who did not know.

Al-Hijr
(15:87) And We have certainly given you, seven of the often repeated [verses] and the great Qur’an.
(15:88) Do not extend your eyes toward that by which We have given enjoyment to [certain] categories of the disbelievers, and do not
grieve over them. And lower your wing to the believers
(15:89) And say, “Indeed, I am the clear warner”

An-Nahl
(16:64) And We have not revealed to you the Book except for you to make clear to them that wherein they have differed and as guidance and mercy for a people who believe.

(16:89) And [mention] the Day when We will resurrect among every nation a witness over them from themselves. And We will bring you as a witness over your nation. And We have sent down to you the Book as clarification for all things and as guidance and mercy and good tidings for the Muslims.

(16:97) Whoever does righteousness, whether male or female, while he is a believer – We will surely cause him to live a good life, and We will surely give them their reward [in the Hereafter] according to the best of what they used to do.
(16:98) So when you recite the Qur’an, [first] seek refuge in Allah from Satan, the expelled [from His mercy].
(16:99)Indeed, there is for him no authority over those who have believed and rely upon their Lord.
(16:100) His authority is only over those who take him as an ally and those who through him associate others with Allah.

Al-Isra
(17:78) Establish prayer at the decline of the
sun [from its meridian] until the darkness of the night and [also] the Qur’an
of dawn. Indeed, the recitation of dawn is ever witnessed.
(17:79) And from [part of] the night, pray with it as additional [worship] for you; it is expected that your Lord will resurrect you to a praised station.
(17:80) And say, “My Lord, cause me to enter a sound entrance and to exit a sound exit and grant me from Yourself a supporting authority.”
(17:81) And say, “Truth has come, and falsehood has departed. Indeed is falsehood, [by nature], ever bound to depart.”
(17:82) And We send down of the Qur’an that which is healing and mercy for the believers, but it does not increase the wrongdoers except in loss.

Luqman
(31:2) These are verses of the wise Book,
(31:3) As guidance and mercy for the doers of good
(31:4) Who establish prayer and give zakah, and they, of the Hereafter, are certain [in faith].

Az-Zumar
(39:2) Indeed, We have sent down to you the Book in truth. So worship Allah, [being] sincere to Him in religion.
(39:3) Unquestionably, for Allah is the pure religion. And those who take protectors besides Him [say], “We only worship them that they may bring us nearer to Allah in position.” Indeed, Allah will judge between them concerning that over which they differ. Indeed, Allah does not guide he who is a liar and [confirmed] disbeliever.

(39:41) Indeed, We sent down to you the Book for the people in truth. So whoever is guided – it is for [the benefit of] his soul; and whoever goes astray only goes astray to its detriment. And you are not a manager over them.

Ash-Shura
(42:52) And thus We have revealed to you an inspiration of Our command. You did not know what is the Book or [what is] faith, but We have made it a light by which We guide whom We will of Our servants. And indeed you
guide to a straight path –
(42:53) The path of Allah, to whom belongs whatever is in the heavens and
whatever is on the earth. Unquestionably, to Allah do [all] matters evolve.

Al-Muzzammil
(73:20) Indeed, your Lord knows, that you stand [in prayer] almost two thirds of the night or half of it or a third of it, and [so do] a group of those with you. And Allah determines [the extent of] the night and the day. He has known that you [Muslims] will not be able to do it and has turned to you in forgiveness, so recite what is easy [for you] of the Qur’an. He has known that there will be among you those who are ill and others traveling throughout the land seeking [something] of the bounty of Allah and others fighting for the cause of Allah. So recite what is easy from it and establish prayer and give zakah and loan Allah a goodly loan. And whatever good you put forward for yourselves – you will find it with Allah. It is better and greater in reward. And seek forgiveness of Allah. Indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.

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